Not that I ever promised regular posts, but I am well over due and will regale all 4 of you with what I have been up to. Being a fry cook was tits. We won awards (I refuse to give free advertising, but I was responsible for the second best poutine in Toronto), and had some cheap laughs. I learned that steam burns far more than oil, but oil leaves more interesting scars.

I have since graduated from fry guy to pan man.

Hot butter hurts the most, and leaves the most interesting scars.

This has done little to dissuade me from this lifestyle. I am now a pirate of the kitchen. I live on jerky and red wine, for some what ironically working in a kitchen affords little time to eat. I have learned sweet dance moves, for as it turns out regular walking will only get you killed in the house of knifes and fire. I have obtained a tablet with the hopes of better documenting and sharing these events with greater clarity and less censorship: the more an idea is rolled around the duller it’s edges tend to get.

Other than that, Hi! How are you?



So I started my career over. I went from IT to fry cook, and so far so good. I didn`t really choose to be a tech; When I started you could put `computer literate` on your resume. I am a gamer, and this gave me a competitive edge back when windows 98 was in style. Now that means shit, and there are hoards of folk that can do the same. Now I`m being told that I need a degree to do what I was doing fine for a decade. There is no way I`m getting a degree in computer science to be a cord monkey.
What to do.
Welp, people need to eat, and I have finally found a place that will trust me to not break their dishes. There are some that would be depressed being a 30 something frycook, but I am not one. I`m making about the same change, and people are not angry to see me so that`s a plus.


I recall wanting something as a child; a bright purple eggplant. I was laughed at by my mother because it was easier for her to belittle her spawn than it was to cook. After some months of pressure she purchased one between grabbing potatoes and spaghetti. It was disked, baked dry, and served to me bland as a demonstration why vegetables are not food. It would be a full 20 years after that I would turn one into a satisfying ghanoush.
What I’m getting at is if someone smaller than you wants something and you can’t do it, it’s your fault.

What was I beaten for? II

Many of us in the west were punished at one point or another for our behaviour. The most common reasons I can think of were:
Failure to do chores/homework
Showing disrespect to authority
Parental fatigue
In addition to the belt, revocation of T.V. ‘privileges’ would be suspended. Most of these behaviours are a direct or indirect result of programming; Either you were distracted by T.V. or you learned these things from T.V.

Does it not seem odd to anyone else that a functioning adult would beat and punish their own child before removing the offending source? What does it say that denial of the problem source is a punishment? Too many contradictions in one place.
It’s like putting out a bowl of candy, whipping anyone who eats the candy, and then telling them they are not allowed to have any candy for a week. What can be learned?

So now that we are here…

40% of the populous in North America has some form of Degree. Google that shit. Shame few people are fans of history though…
When Jamestown sprung up there were more gentlemen than people who actually did work. In case you don’t know how that played out, it went pretty badly.
What I’m trying to say is go plant a tree instead of learning how to count someone else’s stack.

What was I beaten for?

Kids are savages, this is true. What I’m stuck on is who controls the switch? Why was it when I was a lad it was not only acceptable to hurt geeks and nerds, but encouraged? The same people who would hurl rocks and insults at their peers 20 years ago for their love of fantasy and games now watch Game of Thrones and keep a computer in their pocket.
While I am glad to see this paradigm shift, I am very bitter. Why was I harmed then for what is mainstream now? Do these creatures stop and think about this at all? Fuck if I know.

Ever wonder when…

Have you ever been troubled by when that last time you’ll play your favourite game will be? I have FF3/6 on a snes cartridge and cannot be sure if I’ll ever bust it out again. Sure you can play an emulator but we all know it’s not the same. What about Bust a Move? What are the odds 2 people will meet at any given party, look over at each other and know that it’s on? I don’t even remember the last time I played a good game of chess.
Everyone is hard for Cards against Humanity. The game plays like American Gladiators; The name promises something but there is never any blood, no one dies, and while it’s puffed up we all know it’s weaksauce.
I know for a fact I will never again play Diablo on Hell on account of battlenet moving on, no more Godly Plates of the Whale.
Am I ever going to beat FF with 4 white mages non tool assisted? Probably not, but at least the option is there.