Not that I ever promised regular posts, but I am well over due and will regale all 4 of you with what I have been up to. Being a fry cook was tits. We won awards (I refuse to give free advertising, but I was responsible for the second best poutine in Toronto), and had some cheap laughs. I learned that steam burns far more than oil, but oil leaves more interesting scars.

I have since graduated from fry guy to pan man.

Hot butter hurts the most, and leaves the most interesting scars.

This has done little to dissuade me from this lifestyle. I am now a pirate of the kitchen. I live on jerky and red wine, for some what ironically working in a kitchen affords little time to eat. I have learned sweet dance moves, for as it turns out regular walking will only get you killed in the house of knifes and fire. I have obtained a tablet with the hopes of better documenting and sharing these events with greater clarity and less censorship: the more an idea is rolled around the duller it’s edges tend to get.

Other than that, Hi! How are you?


What was I beaten for? II

Many of us in the west were punished at one point or another for our behaviour. The most common reasons I can think of were:
Failure to do chores/homework
Showing disrespect to authority
Parental fatigue
In addition to the belt, revocation of T.V. ‘privileges’ would be suspended. Most of these behaviours are a direct or indirect result of programming; Either you were distracted by T.V. or you learned these things from T.V.

Does it not seem odd to anyone else that a functioning adult would beat and punish their own child before removing the offending source? What does it say that denial of the problem source is a punishment? Too many contradictions in one place.
It’s like putting out a bowl of candy, whipping anyone who eats the candy, and then telling them they are not allowed to have any candy for a week. What can be learned?

So now that we are here…

40% of the populous in North America has some form of Degree. Google that shit. Shame few people are fans of history though…
When Jamestown sprung up there were more gentlemen than people who actually did work. In case you don’t know how that played out, it went pretty badly.
What I’m trying to say is go plant a tree instead of learning how to count someone else’s stack.

Coming soon…more to come

For reasons including boredom and utter unemployablity I bring you the words of me. Wow, that could have gone better.
From the rearguard we will discuss the finer points of life, love, failure, and the unexplained need to persist. A forum for those things we all think about and would love to discuss but cannot for fear of alienating everyone within 10 meters. This is for the boring, the depressing, and the close to our heart topics that no one wants to hear about.
We will cover things like;
Why does the HD version lack a soul?
Why is that job posting still up after I applied?
How come we live inside Taylor Hole?
How come no one else is covered in cat fur?

And other important questions that for obvious reasons you are afraid to ask and no one is willing/able to answer.
More to come…